


day 25: a collapsing star with tunnel vision

by halfwheeze



Series: thirty ways to wreck a train [25]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: High School AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 06:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14206764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfwheeze/pseuds/halfwheeze
Summary: during which ryan freaks out and shane comes home.





	day 25: a collapsing star with tunnel vision

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is day twenty-five of a 30-day series I'm trying out! I can't say that I'll be fantastic at it, but I'm gonna try!
> 
> day twenty-five is support! hope you enjoy!

There are a million things going on in Ryan’s life right now: college applications, his part time job, wondering whether he should take the SAT for the third time, two AP tests in a month’s time, and the eternal question of what he wants to do with his life to name a few. He’d probably have already lost it if he didn’t have Shane, good Shane Madej, on call telling him that he’s going to be okay every few hours. Whenever Ryan has an anxious thought, it seems like Shane has a preternatural instinct for when Ryan is freaking out, because he’ll get a text within five minutes, whether it’s just saying some Shane shit or just genuine support, and Ryan loves those texts. He loves Shane, as much as he doesn’t know how to say that aloud, for as many reasons as he has reasons to love Shane. 

Spring Break is the time of spiraling, so he’s sitting in his living room and thinking about reasons not to tell Shane he’s head over heels in his boxers and socks. He remembers, once, a mutual friend of theirs made a comment of  _ “It’s not like we’ll be friends after high school.”  _ He remembers every single moment after it, the next ten minutes, because Shane didn’t deny it, because Shane didn’t say anything when Ryan did, because none of their friends denied it. That coming to mind is one more thing weighing on Ryan’s mind and it’s not a text that interrupts his spiraling thoughts this time, but a phone call. Shane is calling him. Ryan answers belatedly, after maybe the third ring. 

“Hey,” he says, drawn to a close, and he can see Shane’s pulled together eyebrows of worry even though they’re not together. They’re not together. They’ll never be together. Shane thinks they won’t be friends after high school. 

“You okay, Ry?” Shane asks, no greeting, and Ryan nearly laughs. Shane knows too much about him. 

“I’m fine. You okay?” he lies, changing the subject with an evenness in tone that he’s almost proud of. Shane makes a noise, and he knows that the lie isn’t as well received as he should have hoped. 

“I - uh - miss you, I guess. You mind if I come over?” Shane asks, and it sounds like a lie just as much as Ryan knows his lie sounded to Shane, and Ryan wonders why he wants to come over at all. That doesn’t stop him from saying yes, of course, because he always wants Shane to come over. It feels less empty when Shane is around - with his little brother off to nerdy science camp, Ryan’s house is a ghost town for Spring Break. He really does miss the sound of Shane’s laugh echoing off the walls, which it does more often than the house is without his best friend, but… it’s the first Tuesday of Spring Break and Shane hasn’t come over yet. It’s been weird. 

“Go ahead. You wanna grab popcorn on your way over? We’re out,” Ryan says, flat, but with a little bit of their usual rapport leaking in. Shane snorts and everything feels a little better, a little lighter, like a veil of tension has been lifted from their friendship. There’s a moment of silence before Shane speaks, and a little bit of the tension comes back. 

“Alright. I’ll be there in fifteen. Love you, Ry,” Shane replies, and that’s how he’s ended phone calls for the entirety of their friendship, but it still makes Ryan’s chest hurt a little. Permanent fixtures of Shane, little things that he always does, have a tendency to make Ryan feel both like he’s flying and like he’s falling from a ten floor walk up. 

“Love you. See you soon,” Ryan says, quick, and hangs up the phone before he can say something inarguably stupid. He rushes to clean up all the bullshit he’s been throwing over the house today, leaving several rooms in veritable disarray with his depressive nonsense. Shane is coming over soon, so everything needs to look at least like he’s not freaking out. He’s not freaking out. Shane is his best friend, and this is a totally normal event and there is no reason to be anxious at any point right now. He doesn’t realise he’s really, really freaking out until he’s cleaning the  _ stove  _ for his best friend to come over. He sits on the couch just in time to hear Shane’s key in the lock. 

“Honey, I’m home,” Shane announces, throwing his keys in the bowl where Ryan’s mom’s go, just looking at home in Ryan’s house, and Ryan wants to get up and kiss him, so he stays in his seat. 

“Hey shithead,” Ryan says fondly, breaking into a grin now that Shane is really and actually here. The memory from earlier, Shane’s complacency with the idea that they won’t be friends after high school, comes to his mind unbidden, pulling his grin right off of his face. Shane’s brow comes together in concern. 

“Hey. What’s up?” Shane asks, soft, and it’s enough for Ryan to want to actually open up to him, to say what he means, for once. 

“That thing… last year. When Eugene said we wouldn’t be friends after high school. Why didn’t you disagree? Did you think he was right?” Ryan asks, vulnerability crawling into his voice in a way that he hates, and Shane looks confused for a moment. It seems to click belatedly, and Shane looks sad. Ryan didn’t want to make Shane, no matter how badly he wanted answers, and he frowns along with him. 

“Ry… We’re a sure thing. You and me? We’re goin’ all the way to the top, baby!” Shane jokes half heartedly. “We’ve applied to all the same colleges, studied for all the tests together, I - I thought it was implied. Our friends are probably going to grow apart a little, but they’ll still be our friends, but you and me - I always thought we were sure. Didn’t you want that?” Shane continues, sounding a little unsure at the end. Ryan feels like he’s crumbling apart at the edges, and held together by Shane looking at him right now. 

“You want that?” Ryan asks in return, barely able to look up at Shane, and his gaze falls to the counter behind his best friend in a moment. He doesn’t realise Shane is walking towards him before the other guy is invading his space, hands holding onto his jaw and tilting his head up. Ryan looks up at him and can’t look away. 

“I want everything with you, Ryan. I’ve got your back,” Shane says, soft, and then he’s kissing Ryan even softer. Ryan might have fallen to the ground without one of Shane’s hands moving to support his back, cradling him close. They migrate to the couch eventually and end up just cuddling, Ryan’s forehead against Shane’s collarbone. 

“We’re sure?” Ryan asks, just wanting to hear it again. 

“We’re a sure thing, little guy.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me a prompt @halfwheeze on tumblr, and I'll get to it when I can!


End file.
